Lana knows you shouldn’t judge us for our shameless self-aggrandizement

Why hello there, faithful Filthy Dreams denizens! The beautiful people who keep our humble tribute to trash alive! The fuel that keeps our fanatical fires burning! Yes, that’s right–where and what would we be without YOU?! You should really give yourself a round of applause, treat yourself to some terribly ill-advised shot of well liquor and celebrate just how much you do for us here at Filthy Dreams.

Ok. Just kidding. It’s all about US!

As you know, it’s that time of year in which publications pat themselves on the back for doing the bare minimum all year or in the case of this calendar turning, all decade, making end of the decade lists in which they purposefully seem to forget they just discovered identity politics a year ago. They talk themselves up and well, we want in! We’ve always found shameless self-aggrandizement grotesque, but we’ll try anything once (or twice in the case of this second annual year-end most-read list).

This year, Filthy Dreams has had more readers than ever before. You like us! You really like us! Or maybe you don’t like us and can’t look away. We’ll take that too. Or maybe you stumbled on the site Googling something like “girl poop scene” (actual search term) or “beaver tail titties” (again…actual search term). But no matter how you got here, we love you and welcome you with open arms nonetheless, you perverts!

We also have featured more contributing writers this year than ever before. Aren’t you relieved it’s not just Marion and me sending everyone into a maniacal tailspin each week? Having to deal with solely our meandering ramblings? These writers even take themselves seriously!

So to look back at Filthy Dreams’s 2019, since we have no memories of our own, we’re highlighting the ten most read essays of 2019 (as of today), with corresponding GIFS…naturally. Though we never really bothered with trying to appeal to an audience other than ourselves, it is intriguing to see exactly what seems to fascinate readers. Apparently in 2019, it was a cinematic and dramatic scene of shitting on the bus. Figures:

1. If I Move, I’ll Shit: “The Perfection” Excretes A Trash Masterpiece

2. Boots And Saddle: Fantasizing About Orville Peck’s Queer Outlaw Country

3. Mary Boone Is The IRL Joanne The Scammer

4. I’ve Seen That Face Before: Meet Chris Jones, Grace Jones’s Talented Brother

5. Staying With The Vulgar: A Brief Chat With McKenzie Wark

6. Does “Midsommar” Satisfy Our Universal Urge To Join A Cult?

7. The Bed’s Too Big Without You: Living With Nan Goldin’s Photographs

8. Girlfriend, You Are So On: Our 15 Favorite Moments From Marianne Williamson’s “A Return To Love”

9. Money Can’t Buy You Camp: Why I Love That The Met’s Camp Gala Was A Failure

10. God Is In The House: Are We Living In A New Age Of Trash Religiosity?