Bearded Amish men creating traffic jams in horse-drawn buggies. Shoofly pies, whoopie pies, and apple butter bake sales staffed by women in plain cotton dresses. Worn farmhouses adorned with painted barn stars. Wooden rockers and star-laden quilts. These are the quaint scenes that immediately come to my mind when considering the aesthetics of Pennsylvania Dutch … Continue reading
There is something existentially terrifying about American big-box grocery stores. Maybe it’s just me. Shamefully, I have melted down in more than a few ginormous supermarkets across the country, sniping at family members over muffins and abandoning shopping baskets in the cereal aisle in a panic. I know I’ve fashioned myself as a supporter of … Continue reading
I’ve recently experienced a religious conversion—become born-again if you will. At least where art is concerned. For decades I avoided Medieval art like the plague due to (what I felt at the time was) its revolting connection to Christianity at its most conservative, a kneejerk response after reading too much Christopher Hitchens as a contrarian … Continue reading
What does a deep-throating, tongue-heavy interspecies make-out session between famed feminist artist, meat writher, and interior scroll yanker Carolee Schneemann and her cat have to do with Pablo Picasso? Is there some tenuous link between Carolee’s hot and steamy pussy-licking, Infinity Kisses II, and Pablo’s looming animalistic Minotaur draftsman cosplay? Are they both aspiring furries? … Continue reading
The muddled, muffled sounds of an indiscernible song fuzzily blasted through a pair of wireless headphones at Vito Schnabel Gallery. Even though the listening experience was akin to holding a tin can full of static to my ear, I got a little choked up, straining to hear a then-new Velvet Underground demo played over the … Continue reading
Late last month, I nearly passed out at a concert. My senses fuzzed blank, dominated by the earsplitting, hypnotic wrath of the droning cacophony erupting from the stage courtesy of Nordra, the solo project/assault of Zen Mother’s disarmingly petite in contrast to her aural fury, Monika Khot, who opened for Zola Jesus (whose band Khot … Continue reading
There’s something erotic about swallowing…I mean, receiving the Eucharist, isn’t there? Kneeling, mouth open, ready for the sacramental wine to dribble down your chin? Who among us hasn’t felt the impulsive tug to suck on a priest’s finger as he sets that Jesus wafer on your tongue? And if you believe in transubstantiation, well, then … Continue reading
All I need is a disco ball. In life and in art. Spotting its sparkling exterior with a cursory glance toward the ceiling at any bar, concert venue, or tchotchke-covered restaurant brings a relieving, comforting sense of home. Similarly, any artwork that includes a mirror ball is immediately a favorite. Just search around this very … Continue reading
Inches upon inches of slopping creamy mayonnaise leak out of a sandwich. These towering tiers of Hellmann’s are slathered in queasy quantity as if splattered on by a particularly enthusiastic deli worker. Oozing drips of the substance fall in layers onto a bed of Astroturf like eggy discharge. This mayo sandwich’s revolting recipe is not … Continue reading
Erik Prince is hot. Yes, I mean that Erik Prince, Blackwater founder, guru of mercenary contractors committing war crimes during the War on Terror largely outside the bounds of human rights laws, and more recently, Trump buddy who allowed Project Veritas goons to scamper all over his Wyoming ranch. The Erik Prince who never met … Continue reading