“Watch the wire.” That’s what I was warned as I maneuvered my way around marble-topped tables and White House gewgaws at the new 45 Wine & Whiskey Bar, a Trump-themed Trump bar at Trump Tower on a recent Friday night, trying to reach two plush high-backed dusty magenta chairs that wouldn’t look out of place … Continue reading
Purgatory has been on my mind recently. Can you blame me? We’re yet again in another COVID surge, full of governmental gaslighting, confusing market-driven public health guidance, all the boosters you can stand, explosive fights over masks, tests, vaccines, remote work, and remote school, a president that seems to be increasingly addled, grocery and drug … Continue reading
*Blows horn* *shoots confetti cannon* Happy New Year, dearest Filthy Dreams readers! Has it been a year or five? We can’t figure it out either. Can you believe the one year anniversary of the Capitol insurrection is only a few days away? Screw New Year’s Eve, what are you planning for that day? Storming a … Continue reading
Is there anything that can prepare you to watch a visibly pregnant woman vomit, clutch her belly, and reach into her pants to draw back fingers full of dark, black motor oil? Continue reading
“I love cheese–Du dum! I love CHEEEEEEESE! DU-DUM!” Oh, why hello there, faithful Filthy Dreams readers! What’s that? Oh, I’m just singing the iconic song by YouTube mukbanger and the filthiest person alive, Nikocado Avocado, who has become a particular obsession of ours this year! You’re not familiar?! How DARE you? Watch any number of … Continue reading
Why hello there, dearest Filthy Dreams gobblers! What’s that? You’re excited for the second annual pandemic Thanksgiving?! Well, who isn’t, my little stuffed turklets! When Filthy Dreams was originally conceived as a camp twist on the idea of Nietzsche’s eternal return—a show happening on the hour every hour—a decade ago, we never quite realized how … Continue reading
In the latter half of the year of our Lord—or really Lady—2021, I decided to become a Princess Diana obsessive. That’s right, send me all your purple Princess Diana Beanie Babies that you’ve been squirreling away under your beds since the late 1990s just in case they finally become worth more than NFTs. I’m now … Continue reading
You may not know this, dearest Filthy Dreams fanatics, but I’ve occasionally been accused of being long-winded. Rambling. Exhausting. Draining. Just a tad wordy. In a culture where we have writers and editors tweet-advising us to make articles shorter and more palatable for readers, I tend to do the opposite. I don’t care who likes … Continue reading
A nuclear green alien robot baby with his daddy’s matching lime-green hair. A morph suit dress that resembles a cross between the eponymous character from Alien and Charlie’s Green Man from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. A Balenciaga sleeping bag that could be mistaken for Mugatu’s Derelicte line from Zoolander. The blanket from Roseanne‘s sofa. … Continue reading
Hello there, dearest Filthy Dreamers! What’s that? Did you miss your last dosage of horse ivermectin? Why, you’re in luck! We just came back from the tractor supply store and got a new haul of meds with horses and other livestock on the box to protect us from the COVID-19. It just makes me want … Continue reading