“You thieving treacherous little shit! To think that I actually liked you and let you touch my lady bits. I’m going to slice your face off with a cheese grater and then feed your testicles to my girlfriend!” No, this isn’t a quote from a lost John Waters film spoken with the perverse and pathological … Continue reading
*cronch cronch cronch* Oh! *cough* What’s that? I’m just trying to eat my way through a mega-sized box of Valentine’s hearts. Why? Because we have to support small businesses in times like these, including choking down all the dry and chalky drug store candy hearts we can stomach! What else is there to do on … Continue reading
“Is it the end of an era? Is it the end of America?” Lana Del Rey answers her own questions with a semi-confident, “No. its’ only the beginning…” But, now maybe the answer is: yes? Of course, I’m talking about the Trump fanatics’ attempted coup, siege, sedition, treason, trash insurrection, whatever you want to call … Continue reading
*blows party horn* *shoots confetti cannon* Ahhh…Happy New Year, dearest Filthy Dreams readers! Get ready for that champagne hangover after battling the hoards of amateur drinkers on these final days of 2019! …or 2020. What year is it? Did we have a year? Or is this still some cold sweat alcohol-poisoning fever dream after choking … Continue reading
*jingle jangle jingle jangle* Oh why hello there, dearest Filthy Dreams fanatics! Do you hear what I hear? Are those bells? Are they tolling for us? Well, hell’s bells! I guess it’s time to start ringing in the New Year! Ah…2020. Do we even need a look back? I don’t know about you, but to … Continue reading
“Oh, fuck you! Those are heirlooms. My family heirlooms!” Wild-eyed and bunny-eared with her Appalachian drawl, Amy Adams’ Bev Vance delivers those lines with the pathos and conviction of a woman who just lost her cherished, long held inherited treasures, passed down from generation to generation of country folk. What are these heirlooms of which … Continue reading
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare (who has a parlor)? Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there? What I’m really trying to ask, dearest Filthy Dreams turklets, is: are you lonesome tonight? What’s that, my little gizzard and gobblers? Oh, I know, I know. Thanksgiving is just not … Continue reading
Dildo madness. If I had to sum up the past four years in two words, that would be it. Or maybe it’s completely unfair to categorize four years of viral grifts, racism, xenophobia, pussy-grabbing, Sharpie-huffing, COVID-infecting, manic-tweeting, Big Mac-engorging, Fox News-binging in relation to something that provides pleasure. However, madness seems on point. Yes, of … Continue reading
Why hello there, scariest, most devilish, and deviant Filthy Dreams ghosties, ghouls, goblins, and Goths! You know what time of year it is…the scariest time of the year…ELECTION SEASON! *shudder* Ok, ok, it’s also Halloween, but really, is there anything else to do other than sit in your box of an apartment waiting, calculating various … Continue reading
Young man! Did you ever imagine that “Y.M.C.A.,” that beloved cheesy endorsement of cruising bathing boy beauties at a health spa full of “everything for a young man to enjoy,” would be the chosen soundtrack to the insidious creep of fascism in the United States? Did you ever believe that the Village People, that iconic … Continue reading
