Why hello there, dearest Filthy Dreams readers! Why don’t you settle in for a Rail Splitter…or six!
As you may have noticed, faithful filth fanatics, we took a short break from blogging about trash and other sleaze last week as we took a trip into the heart of Hoosier country. That’s right–As the rest of the country screamed to #BoycottIndiana over the discriminatory and unmistakably lobbyist placating Religious Freedom Restoration Act, we decided to instead go on our own odyssey in search for Hoosiers. Who are these Hoosiers and what are they all about? Do they really hate queers or is that just their Douchenozzle-In-Chief Governor Mike Pence worried about his campaign funds?
As Indiana quickly became the most hated state in the country, we traversed our way around the state from Santa Claus, Indiana to James Dean’s hometown Fairmount, Indiana and all the way to the promised land of Twin Peaks, a bar/grill that resembled what would happen if the Black Lodge were located in a Hooters.
We zoomed by giant sculptures of Paul Bunyan, bump….bump…bumped our way down the expressway in a near constantly breaking down car (I’m looking at you, Leon at Autozone) and consumed numerous Rail Splitters along the way.
Did we find Hoosiers on our quest? Well, they seem to have found us, jabbering at us in bars about Hoosier hospitality, pools and wiping our asses on the carpet. Since the entire trip resembles an amorphous blur in our minds, we decided to write a series of Yelp reviews during our odyssey to help us recall what we did, where we went and who we met. Ok, yes, we ripped off comedian Doug Stanhope’s hilarious Yelp reviews, but why mess with a good idea?
Will these make sense to anyone else? I’m not sure. In fact, we feel like we’re still stuck in Twin Peaks where the birds sing a pretty song or maybe we’re still in Greg’s with the bears. Anyway, Indiana wants us.