“Oh, fuck you! Those are heirlooms. My family heirlooms!” Wild-eyed and bunny-eared with her Appalachian drawl, Amy Adams’ Bev Vance delivers those lines with the pathos and conviction of a woman who just lost her cherished, long held inherited treasures, passed down from generation to generation of country folk. What are these heirlooms of which … Continue reading
*Bang!* *BOOM* *tsssssssss* OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT?!! IS THAT A BOMB?! OR A BOX OF BOOM SQUAD?! Why are those explosions so close to my rattling windows? Why do they look like they’re being set off beside the NYPD precinct? Is my roof on fire? Quick! I need to grab all my Lana … Continue reading
“To live in a country where you can take an ugly old mountain and put faces on it—faces of great Americans who did so much to make our country super great—well, that just makes me…proud to be an American!” No, this perversely patriotic phrase wasn’t uttered at one of Trump’s demented and near unintelligible Rose … Continue reading
Last week, Tila Tequila…I mean, Tornado Thien, the reality show star turned (neo)Nazi sympathizer, has apparently made yet another whiplash-inducing transition: religious zealot, announcing on a rambling high decibel live YouTube stream that she would be starting a GoFund Me campaign to fundraise for her upcoming gospel album. Continue reading
You can tell a whole lot about a film’s impact by the GIFs that remain peppered throughout the Internet even years after its release. For Lee Daniels’s gloriously trashy The Paperboy, its afterlife is preserved in slow-as-molasses, steamy grabs of heartthrob Zac Efron’s Jack Jansen languishing in itty bitty, tighty whities, flexing his tautly muscled … Continue reading
When I was eight years old, I wanted to be Tonya Harding. Well, at least momentarily. Playing outside on a particularly frozen day in 1994, I pretended to be figure skaters with a friend. Did I want to be Nancy Kerrigan with her perfect brunette ponytail, Vera Wang-designed white costumes and sophisticated poise? Hell no. … Continue reading
In Divine’s classic hit song “Born To Be Cheap,” that bewigged bastion of filth snarls, “As sure as there’s trash, I was born to be cheap!” Not only a rallying cry for gaudy girls everywhere, Divine also hits on an important factoid: Trash is forever. Not just those bags of garbage dumped at the side … Continue reading