Hello there, dearest Filthy Dreamers! What’s that? Did you miss your last dosage of horse ivermectin? Why, you’re in luck! We just came back from the tractor supply store and got a new haul of meds with horses and other livestock on the box to protect us from the COVID-19. It just makes me want to sing The Rolling Stones: “Wiiiiiiiild horrrrrses”! (RIP Charlie Watts)
Granted, we, here at Filthy Dreams, have never been all that interested in horse medication, that is unless it’s horse tranquilizers! But, that might be changing ever since we’ve started reading all those testimonials on Ivermectin “the people’s medicine” Facebook groups. For example:
Seems like a good time!
I mean, how ELSE are we supposed to make sure our last gasp of summer fun is safe from the Delta variant? Sure, there’s the vaccine, but an FDA approval just doesn’t seem to provide the thrill of calculating dosage via horse weight after a jaunt to the feed store, does it?
But if being your own medical experiment isn’t exactly your thing, Filthy Dreams is here to help with a wrap-up of videos that will be sure to keep Delta far far away from your end-of-summer BBQ or beach trip. So grab a cocktail, perhaps with just a dash if Ivermectin and maybe a spritz of Regeneron, and take a peek:
1. Daniel DiCriscio “BLONDEMIC”
We here at Filthy Dreams are the biggest fans of Rapunzel-haired actor, model, musician, hairstylist, all-around paparazzi-favorite Daniel DiCriscio, falling all over ourselves and screaming like fangirls every time he posts another video flipping his platinum locks and giving the camera duck lips on the beach at Santa Monica or walking down the street in West Hollywood. We love you, Daniel! So naturally, our Labor Day video recommendations have to start with Daniel’s music video for his new song “BLONDEMIC,” a vamping post-vaccine anthem. Sure, this might have been released right in time for the Delta variant, but, you can’t lock this Blondemic down! Daniel’s back-back in the house! And it’s time to PARTY! Before you close your eyes and howl, “WHOOOOOOO HOAAAAAAAAAA” right along with Daniel, take some time to appreciate some of his stunning and occasionally startling outfits. Our favorite? His bedroom look with thigh-high boots and white underwear that resembles a diaper. Whew! We’re ready for this next wave of the Blondemic!
2. Bulimianne Rhapsody’s “Sharknado”
Shouldn’t all drag queen videos double as public service announcements? I certainly think so. And Bulimianne Rhapsody tells us: if you’re braving the beach, watch out for sharks! And tornados! And SHARKNADOS, especially ones set to Dead or Alive! Bulimianne Rhapsody’s disaster film in less than five minutes is an awe-inspiring ode to those sea-faring predators, so-bad-they’re-good TV movies, and our beloved Pete Burns. The video opens with a gaggle of fun-loving “beach”(?)-goers as they twist and gyrate with pool noodles, intertubes, and hula hoops, along with some very confused-looking pups. But the good times aren’t meant to last, even as Bulimianne twirls with a pinwheel and claws at the camera. Do you hear that sound? DUUUUH DUH! DUUUUH DUH! Aaaahhh-SHARKS….or someone in a rubber shark mask, at least! I won’t ruin the surprise, but I’ll just say I soared and spun into a similar tizzy just watching the ending of this video!
3. All of @loveyoustepan’s Instagram videos
At Filthy Dreams, we are never afraid to give credit where credit is due even if someone achieved what we have yet to accomplish. Look, as I’m sure all you Filthy Dreamers know, Filthy Dreams was originally conceptualized as a bar where we’d gaze into the abyss (and the abyss would gaze into us) as we stirred our drinks, watching the same show happen on the hour every hour as confetti rained down on our heads. Well, we haven’t quite constructed this bar….YET! However, somehow a Ukrainian cat embodies the aesthetic, the ethos, the energy of Filthy Dreams better than we ever could! Meet @loveyoustepan, a dazed-looking tabby whose thousand-yard stare and sleepy-eyed dozing in front of generously poured cocktails, swirling disco lights, and tacky dance music are exactly what we imagined for Filthy Dreams many, many moons ago. Who could resist the urge to shake up a tropical drink or an espresso martini or better yet, pour a glass of wine all the way to the rim and join the kitty? We certainly couldn’t! Maybe we should finally open that bar in Ukraine!
4. Alex Jones/Infowars “Globalist Purge Of Humanity is Happening: Money Power Glory (Lana Del Ray)” fan video
I know, I know. Cancel me. But one of the most amusing things within the darkness of our current culture in my mind is red-faced, bloviating, conspiracy theorist/entertainer/vitamin-and-prepper-food salesman Alex Jones’s baffling yet somehow completely wholesome adoration for our own blessed mother, Lana Del Rey. And I feel like others need to know. In a video on Infowars, he gushes about how Lay-na, as he calls her, makes him remember to appreciate and celebrate the beauty in the world—the coffee, the sunsets, the “little fishies in the ponds”—after listening to her then, newly released album Norman Fucking Rockwell! What is the song that tamed the wild tinfoil hat loon? Why “Fuck It I Love You”! Now, at first, Alex’s Lana stanning seems confusing, but if you dare think about it more (and I get why you wouldn’t want to), how different are Lana and Alex’s views of Americana REALLY? With their similar undercurrent of darkness seething below the American promise, not much! However, more than his video gushing about his beloved La(y)na, as well as a separate video articulating the intersections between his views on chemtrails and Lana’s music video for “Chemtrails over the Country Club,” my favorite of Alex’s fan videos has to be “Money Power Glory,” otherwise known as “Globalist Purge of Humanity Is Happening,” an unsettling mash-up video of demonically leering slow-motion footage of Bill Gates, anti-vaccine/’mark of the beast” psychosis, photographs of Jeffrey Epstein, and lots and lots of COVID death imagery. If the Globalists won’t let the video embed, watch here. I’ll admit, I discovered this after watching Infowars one day (Yes, I watch Infowars to occasionally satisfy my morbid curiosity with America’s penchant for both whacko conspiracy theories and raving lunatics) and when I heard Lana’s song, a deep cut from her 2014 album Ultraviolence, I thought I had hit play on my music library by accident! But no, I wasn’t hallucinating. He opened his show with it. Disturbing? Undoubtedly. But I kind of wish I made it myself!
5. Lana Del Rey “You Can Be The Boss”
You can be the Bahss, Daddy! You can be the Baowss!…Don’t let it STOWOWOWOOOOP! Speaking of our Lord and Savior Lana Del Rey, why not take a nostalgic trip back to Lana’s peak Brooklyn-drawling sugar baby heyday? Despite being next to unlistenable at times, this performance of “You Can Be The Boss” is one of my absolute favorites from Lana’s early broke-down coke-fueled fallen star incarnation. It’s all here: the piercing baby voice, the references to the 4th of July, daddy issues, the Valium stare. However, the best part in my eyes is Lana’s mussed-up auburn hairdo. It’s like she just woke up backstage in a smear of lipstick, cigarette ash, and stale vodka breath and someone had the gall to push her right onstage! But, our girl is a trooper, using her bleary-eyed grogginess to make you really want to heed her warnings about liquor and danger! Use it as inspiration to stumble around your Labor Day festivities like you just rose from your unconscious luude-fueled slumber and then force your hostages…I mean, guests!…to watch Lana’s recent secretly released video of herself doing laundry and swimming in her clothes to “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have-but I have it.”
6. Whatever This Is
What is the last BBQ of summer without a little–or even better, a generous–squirt of ketchup?! Some vanilla bores might slather it on a burger or a hot dog, but why not be creative this Labor Day? Let @miketokz’s memorable Heinz-dripping, foot-sucking tattoo video, which wouldn’t be out of place scaring the neuters in John Waters’s A Dirty Shame, be an influence! I never thought video art needed to consist of long, plodding snoozefests that were too excruciatingly slow to make it to traditional cinemas. @miketokz proves true high art can happen in just 30 seconds while delivering shock after shock, surprise after surprise! I don’t know about you, but at least I can’t stop watching. Someone ring up MoMA! I want to make a suggestion for their next acquisition!