*jingle jangle jingle jangle* Oh why hello there, dearest Filthy Dreams fanatics! Do you hear what I hear? Are those bells? Are they tolling for us? Well, hell’s bells! I guess it’s time to start ringing in the New Year!
Ah…2020. Do we even need a look back? I don’t know about you, but to me, it’s still March. But if we must, let’s reflect. What happened in 2020? …Masks? Quarantine? Gasping for breath while trying to take in the white trash vision of Joe Exotic? The Village People? I think there was an election…
Look. 2020 wasn’t the greatest year in human history. But it was the best year at Filthy Dreams! Why as everyone open-mouthed coughed themselves into a global pandemic, we had more readers than ever before. We’re worldwide… on the Internet!
Is it because you love us? Can’t quit us? Or is it because we were partying while the world burned before all these late-coming conservatives started conga line super-spreading to the Bee Gees? Amateurs. We did it first!
And though 2021 looks, well, a little rough too. Just know that:
Now, as you’ve probably noticed, a pandemic hasn’t exactly slowed down anyone’s self-promotion. Take one glance at Twitter, Instagram, or the flurry of unsolicited mass emails clogging up your inbox and you’ll be buried under an avalanche of “Year In Review” self-aggrandizement as everyone pretends that somehow ambition is still worthwhile. Seriously? Who needs ambition when the government now gives out hefty $600 checks?! I’m planning on putting it all in the slots in Vegas!
Even still as we judge everyone else’s careerism, we don’t want to be left out! We want adoration, even when made under duress, as much as the next “creatives.” Hey! I worked through long haul COVID-19 symptoms to bring you this trash–you better be grateful!
So to begin to say bye bye to 2020, Filthy Dreams is bringing you, as in previous years, our ten most-read essays (as of today), with corresponding GIFs (and a extra Madge shocker), in case you missed out on anything. But why would you miss out on everything…you read everything we publish, right? RIGHT?!!!!