Aaaaahhh…It’s coming this way!

Why, hello there dearest Filthy Dreams readers! What’s that? You’re sick to death of staring fixated at the news, as well as our proud leader’s Cheeto-stained tweets? Us too! In fact, we’ve lost our minds.

Ever since Tuesday night, we’ve been revisiting President Trump’s dramatic entrance to his announcement of the SCOTUS nominee–Judge Gorsuch. How theatrical was that build up yesterday! Why I hoped Trump would construct the whole thing like a tribal council on Survivor: tense music, close shots of contestants’…I mean, judges’ worried faces and bored audience reaction shots. But, when it came down to it, the live announcement was pretty BO-RING! I wanted lights, smoke, lasers and synthesizers like a cheesy disco. Go big or go home, Don.

Well, in spirit of our call for a campy resistance, I’ve added some much needed soundtracks to Trump’s entrance. If Trump is looking to appoint some Secretaries of Theatrics, we’re your answer (He’s already got professional clappers). Of course, we won’t play by the Trump loyalty clause, but that’s the risk you take to hire professionals.

1. Donna Summer “If You Got It, Flaunt It” entrance

2. Laura Branigan “Gloria” entrance

3. Liza Minelli “Losing My Mind” entrance

4. The Pussywarmers “Au Revoir Madame” burlesque entrance

5. and probably the most apropos, the Jaws Theme entrance