An ill-fated trip to America’s heart of darkness–Florida–that becomes a whirlwind of sex work and crime. A doomed friendship forged over stripping and text messages. A montage of the most repulsive dicks you can imagine. It’s no question that Zola, the cinematic adaptation of A’Ziah “Zola” King’s jaw-dropping and riveting 148-tweet Twitter magnum opus directed by … Continue reading
“Is it the end of an era? Is it the end of America?” Lana Del Rey answers her own questions with a semi-confident, “No. its’ only the beginning…” But, now maybe the answer is: yes? Of course, I’m talking about the Trump fanatics’ attempted coup, siege, sedition, treason, trash insurrection, whatever you want to call … Continue reading
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare (who has a parlor)? Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there? What I’m really trying to ask, dearest Filthy Dreams turklets, is: are you lonesome tonight? What’s that, my little gizzard and gobblers? Oh, I know, I know. Thanksgiving is just not … Continue reading
Dildo madness. If I had to sum up the past four years in two words, that would be it. Or maybe it’s completely unfair to categorize four years of viral grifts, racism, xenophobia, pussy-grabbing, Sharpie-huffing, COVID-infecting, manic-tweeting, Big Mac-engorging, Fox News-binging in relation to something that provides pleasure. However, madness seems on point. Yes, of … Continue reading
I love sleazy lawyers. Show me a poorly produced ambulance-chasing commercial filled with images of car crashes, explosions, and infernos with a sweaty man in a suit hollering about bringing down “THE HAMMER!” of justice and I’m over the moon. Maybe it has to do with growing up in Pittsburgh where memorizing a certain ad … Continue reading
Is there anything more beautiful than the dual glee and panic of a boxy silhouette of tapered jeans and blinding billowing Technicolor sweaters hurtling down a supermarket aisle as if shot from a cannon in search of a specially marked bottle of Tide? Is there anything more inspiring than a blur of Dep shellacked and … Continue reading
*Bang!* *BOOM* *tsssssssss* OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT?!! IS THAT A BOMB?! OR A BOX OF BOOM SQUAD?! Why are those explosions so close to my rattling windows? Why do they look like they’re being set off beside the NYPD precinct? Is my roof on fire? Quick! I need to grab all my Lana … Continue reading
Happy Valentine’s Day! Feeling the need to drop to a knee at the first person who makes eye contact with you? Feeling into your pockets to ensure that your emergency engagement ring is still there? Tempted to slip a roofie into a punch bowl with fingers crossed? Stealing Valentines from others, only to argue that … Continue reading
Nothing says instant cinematic classic like a climactic moment involving shitting on a bus. Or is that an instant trash classic? Either way, Netflix’s The Perfection blasted its way into my heart like an explosive bowel movement, with the alternately shrieking and whimpering dialogue: “If I move, I’ll shit! I’m going to shit on the … Continue reading
Last week, Tila Tequila…I mean, Tornado Thien, the reality show star turned (neo)Nazi sympathizer, has apparently made yet another whiplash-inducing transition: religious zealot, announcing on a rambling high decibel live YouTube stream that she would be starting a GoFund Me campaign to fundraise for her upcoming gospel album. Continue reading