The McDonald’s-colored, yellow-roofed/red-bodied plastic Fisher-Price “Little Tikes” Cozy Coupe was one of the most ubiquitous toys of my millennial childhood. Who among us didn’t shuffle along our parents’ driveways like tiny Fred Flintstones, making vroom-vroom noises and trying not to seethe with envy at the luckier kids who got fancy-schmancy motorized convertible Barbie cars? Fuck … Continue reading
Thanksgiving Day. The turkey is cooked without being dried out like an avian husk. Marshmallows melt into a slimy sugary goop on the sweet potato casserole. Crispy onions wilt on top of the green beans. Cranberry sauce slides out of the can with a thick thwack. Your polite guests help bring these steaming dishes to … Continue reading
“Everywhere I seem to go on this island seems to me I find degeneracy. There is brawling in bars. There is indecency in public places. And there is the corruption of the young. And now I see it all stems from here—it stems from the FILTH taught here in this very school room!” So spits … Continue reading