An employee of the White House gift shop (yes, there is a gift shop in the White House. Classy!) approached me and another tour guest, both of us gawking at an artwork that looked egregiously out of place, as if someone clandestinely snuck a flea market find into the hallowed halls of the National Portrait … Continue reading
Thanksgiving Day. The turkey is cooked without being dried out like an avian husk. Marshmallows melt into a slimy sugary goop on the sweet potato casserole. Crispy onions wilt on top of the green beans. Cranberry sauce slides out of the can with a thick thwack. Your polite guests help bring these steaming dishes to … Continue reading
“Let her get her condiments! Let her get her condiments!” A voice belonging to a concessions worker piped up in my favor. Not sure who or where the worker was given all the focus I could muster was trained on a plastic basket of ketchup packets. I snatched one. Two. Three. I yanked my hand … Continue reading
In late 2015, I had maybe one of my most memorable hilariously bad art experiences, if you want to call it that. Museum was in the name so I will just go with it. Sent on assignment by a brand that paid me a dollar per word (a rarity in our underpaid profession) to do … Continue reading
What better way to celebrate Father’s Day than with all the leather daddies at New York City’s annual Folsom Street East, the NYC edition of the famous San Francisco kink/leather Folsom Street Fair? Since moving to New York in 2015, Folsom Street East is an event I somehow always seemed to miss with so many … Continue reading
Crazy…. Crazy for feeling so lonely! Patsy Cline’s golden warbling voice echoed through the small exhibition space of the Patsy Cline Museum in Nashville, located right above the cheek-to-a-lot-of-jowl-packed Johnny Cash Museum just downstairs. Here, though, with Patsy, it was simply me and a particularly chatty gaggle of septuagenarians (I’m being generous), arguing over which … Continue reading
“Lord help me, Jesus. I’ve wasted it so help me, Jesus. I know what I am but now that I know that I’ve needed you so…help me, Jesus.” Bellowing from an adjacent restaurant, Kris Kristofferson’s plea to Christ, “Why Me” swept me away while waiting for the elevator at my Nashville hotel. No, it wasn’t … Continue reading
Someone was taking a dump in The John Waters Restrooms at the Baltimore Museum of Art. Was it an art-inspired intestinal emergency or a dedicated tribute to the filmmaker whose major public stink involved Divine sampling some doggy-doo in the filthy finale of Pink Flamingos? Or perhaps, this intrepid museum-goer previously devoured John’s chapter “Act … Continue reading
“I just want to be perfect,” says Karen Carpenter in the recording studio, played by a Barbie doll fashioned by director Todd Haynes in, what I would argue, is still his best film, Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story. Thanks to Haynes’s deranged casting choice, Barbie is a flawless proxy for Karen Carpenter, the wholesome clear-voiced … Continue reading
On location of the 59th Venice Biennale Arte Preview for Filthy Dreams! In the next weeks, I’ll post an in-depth review of the main exhibition, The Milk of Dreams, curated by Cecilia Alemani with anecdotes about accompanying national pavilions. First impression: EXTRAORDINARY! GROUNDBREAKING! But first, a FASHION REPORT: It’s impossible to see/experience this year’s Biennale … Continue reading