“Just another day at the office.” This is the defeated phrase sighed several times by blowhard hack…I mean, former National Security Advisor John Bolton in his recently published, not-quite-bombshell book The Room Where It Happened. Treading water in the eye of the shitstorm of daily impeachable offenses, hourly obstruction of justice, minute-by-minute clownish ridiculousness, and … Continue reading
Category Archives: America Is Doomed
Fight Me, Cowards: Filthy Dreams Endorses Tulsi Gabbard For President
Why hello there, dearest Filthy Dreams voters! As you probably noticed, the Democratic primaries are really heating up after last week’s Super Tuesday as Amy Klobuchar and Pete Buttigieg dropped out to rally around walking dentistry ad Quid Pro Joe, Bernie’s Twitter army tried to out-radical voters into supporting their candidate by howling about privilege, … Continue reading
RESPONSE REQUESTED: Official Filthy Dreams 2020 Super Tuesday Exit Poll
Dearest faithful Filthy Dreams readers, We need your input. Last night, at the height of the Super Tuesday madness, but before the anti-dairy protesters (Turns out the revolution that was coming was about cheese!), the Trump campaign sent out an email to its cult followers…I mean, supporters(!). After references to the LAMESTREAM MEDIA in a … Continue reading
Imminent Annihilation Sounds So Dope: Grimes Scores Our Self-Made Destruction On “Miss Anthropocene”
Was there any way to survive this past week and not be convinced that the world is ending? From the dud of a Democratic debate and the realization that a diverse field of candidates has been narrowed down to two elderly white guys to the potential for a widespread coronavirus pandemic and the deft choice … Continue reading
Yes, Pete Buttigieg Is Gay Enough: You’re Just Assholes
2020’s Democratic presidential primary has boiled down to one vital question. No, not what candidate you’re going to vote for. No, not who is most likely to beat our next best daytime TV talk show host president. No, not whose policies would be the best direction for our country, especially since whoever wins will inherit … Continue reading
The 2020 State Of The Union Was A Trashy Daytime Talk Show
Donald Trump isn’t a reality television show president. Or I guess I should say, he isn’t only a reality show president. Reality television is an unforgettable part of his rise, climbing to power through Apprentice boardroom meetings with weathered has-beens like Vince Neil, Gary Busey and Meatloaf, not to mention tacky tchotchkes and branded opportunities … Continue reading
Filthy Dreams’ Democratic Sleaze Makeover
Ugh! We have had it all the way up to our chinny-chin-chin with Trumpy Bear’s capitalization of what once belonged to us: SLEAZE! First there was the whole pussy grabbing–or was it pussy ass bitch–thing. Then, Stormy. Melania’s outfits. Don Jr.’s beard. Kavanaugh’s boozy meltdown. Jerry Falwell Jr.’s pictures. Religious leaders laying hands on Trump’s … Continue reading
We’ll Have A Party, We’ll Dance Till Dawn: Lana Del Rey’s “Norman Fucking Rockwell!” Escapes America
“I was one thing, now I’m being another,” sings Our Lady of the Beaches, Driving Fast and Ruined Peaches Lana Del Rey in the song “Happiness is a butterfly,” off of her new blessed album Norman Fucking Rockwell!. And indeed, Lana is being another. Though certainly not a complete transition away from the rest of … Continue reading