A square chunk of gaudy gold sits at the center of a low table, overpowering much of the other décor visible in the room—an inescapable brick of tacky opulence. One side reads in all-caps like your furious Boomer relative’s Facebook rant: TRUMP. On top is an ornate seal just out of view, obscured by the … Continue reading
“Let her get her condiments! Let her get her condiments!” A voice belonging to a concessions worker piped up in my favor. Not sure who or where the worker was given all the focus I could muster was trained on a plastic basket of ketchup packets. I snatched one. Two. Three. I yanked my hand … Continue reading
I have a thing for freakish fast-food menu items. Always have. Back when Facebook wasn’t the platform for Boomer rage, I frequently amused myself by putting up the latest in chain publicity stunt psychosis for group consensus. Looking back, KFC’s Famous Bowl, a glop of every conceivable menu item, from chicken to mashed potatoes to … Continue reading
Earlier this week, our favorite elfin intergalactic musician and role model Grimes offered the Internet a deal in tweet form: “I’ll split 50% royalties on any successful AI generated song that uses my voice. Same deal as I would with any artist I collab with. Feel free to use my voice without penalty. I have … Continue reading
Erik Prince is hot. Yes, I mean that Erik Prince, Blackwater founder, guru of mercenary contractors committing war crimes during the War on Terror largely outside the bounds of human rights laws, and more recently, Trump buddy who allowed Project Veritas goons to scamper all over his Wyoming ranch. The Erik Prince who never met … Continue reading
I’ve never really liked zombie movies. I know that’s sacrilege coming from a Pittsburgh native, where George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead famously staggered around Evans City Cemetery. But I just never got the appeal of the ravenous undead. Yet, cinematic zombie apocalypses are really the only comparisons I’m finding to describe the … Continue reading
I’d like to begin with a fact. A simple yet shocking fact. It is this—a floodtide of filth is engulfing our country in the form of obscenity and is threatening to pervert an entire generation of our American children! At least that’s what George Putnam said, finger-wagging in his Middle America-terrorizing introduction to the fear-mongering, … Continue reading
Why hello there, proud patriotic Filthy Dreams readers! What’s that? You’re NOT proud at all to be an American this year?! I know, I know. How DARE we even celebrate Independence Day? Look. Given these feel like our country’s last days, we better party now before the Supreme Court makes a decision on that too! … Continue reading
I’m a Joe Rogan listener. Wait! Before you click off and cancel me on various social media platforms (there’ll be time for that, trust me), let me dig the hole deeper. Not only am I a The Joe Rogan Experience (JRE) listener, but I’m also a longtime The Joe Rogan Experience listener. I’ve tuned into … Continue reading
“Watch the wire.” That’s what I was warned as I maneuvered my way around marble-topped tables and White House gewgaws at the new 45 Wine & Whiskey Bar, a Trump-themed Trump bar at Trump Tower on a recent Friday night, trying to reach two plush high-backed dusty magenta chairs that wouldn’t look out of place … Continue reading