Kitara Ravache: Miss Gay Pride 2023
Haven’t you heard? It’s the time of the season–Pride season, that is! The past few years have tested the limits of our tolerance as on the one hand, corporate Pride became as ubiquitous as Hamburger Mary’s joints and RuPaul queens; while on the other hand, puritanical queers screamed about everything from kink in parades to children to consent. And, of course, right on cue, the “Queerer-than-Thou Olympics” rages all month long. It’s enough to drive you out from the streets, back into the closets! Or, in our case, enough to make us lost in music with each edition of our Pride playlist!
Strangely, this year’s Pride season feels less a chore and more fun again. In fact, it feels like we have reached an event horizon of Pride insanity–thanks to an accumulation of all that internal infighting coupled with an onslaught of extreme backlash from the Right. Ethan Schmidt tearing down Pride signs and harassing customers at Target? Goddammit — now we have to do Corporate Pride! Kid Rock gunning down Pride-flavored cans of Bud Light? Wait! Since when did anyone in the community drink Bud Light? Trying to quell Groomer panics while NYC Pride marchers chant “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re coming for your children”? Time to celebrate. Time for crime!
Divine keeps the fire burning by shoplifting some ribeye
“Where else are you going to get morality from, is what I say? Peace is just piggishness, it takes war to establish order.” Bertolt Brecht, Mother Courage and Her Children
This year’s crime-fueled Pride playlist celebrates queer villainy through our favorite gay villain, George Santos. Like Divine strutting down the street with meat shoved up her crotch, Georgie lied his way to the top and became a star. In fact, Our Lady Kitara lied for our sins. If only all those infighting queers, all those Christofascist alt-Right closet queens like Ethan, and all those Groomer panic-causing merry pranksters lay down their guns to lay at the feet of Kitara’s altar, could we approach world peace? In turn, we offer to you, Filthy Schemers, a playlist that will make you strut and steal, lie, and wheel-and-deal. A playlist for you to twirl endlessly while Target and PetSmart burns. A playlist for you to let it go, let it go…let it go!
