Camp / Trash

From The Filthy Dreams Kitsch-en: Even More Queasy Questionable Vintage Recipes To Trigger Thanksgiving Terror

Nothing says convenience (and mid-century kitsch-en camp) like mystery meat loaf!

Why hello there, dearest Filthy Dreams munchers, nibblers, grazers, finicky pickers, and gobblers! It’s that time of year again–tell the world…let them know…it’s HALLOWREEN! No wait…sorry….THANKSGIVING!! Yes, that’s right. I just got confused because I’ve been guzzling our World Famous Pumpkin Punch ever since the leaves began to turn. And as I’m sure you know, the sheer amount of nutmeg clumped on the top of our secret recipe will distract from any sort of calendar turning. Here take a mug! Watch out for the copious sharp pieces of bark that cracked off our cinnamon sticks.

Speaking of recipes spoken of in hushed tones among family members and friends, Thanksgiving is a time of not only excess and turkey-related incidents, but to share your most coveted, most cherished, and yes, most FAMOUS recipes. And naturally, who are we, at Filthy Dreams, to argue with tradition?

Well, this year (like last year), Filthy Dreams is taking a trip back to our kitschy kitchen–our kitsch-en if you will–to celebrate those nauseating, nostalgic, and noxious vintage recipes from the mid-20th century. That’s right–we’re going to honor any number of loaves, aspics, rings, delights, surprises and sippers. You know what that means, get out some industrial-sized vats of mayonnaise and cottage cheese peppered with celery and parsley as we channel our inner Betty Draper:

Betty catching the annual Thanksgiving turkey

But don’t you worry: this year, we aren’t just recycling the same old recipes that have floated around the Internet, haunting listicles and Pinterest for years. We’ve got a special Thanksgiving treat for all our Filthy Dreams foodies: some newly culled recipes from original source materials–garish and gaudy cookbooks kindly bestowed upon us by a friend with a corresponding interest in all things mid-century camp.

I mean, what is it that is so fascinating about these cookbooks from the 1940s through the 1970s? Is it the construction of the idealized Suzy Homemaker market, driving post-war women to maniacally strive for unobtainable perfection in the form of Jello molds only to fail and try again? Is it the nostalgia for an America that not only had bread on the table, but food formed into ambitious rings or towers? Is it the yearning for the America that never truly existed that we hear in Lana Del Rey’s music or more psychotically, harnessed by the promoters of MAGA? Or is it just because the foods look objectively stomach-graspingly repulsive and that considering putting that much mayonnaise in our bodies is just good, old-fashioned fun?

No matter the answer. the frenzied zeal that these cookbooks encourage and inspire is infectious at the very least. Why not pick a few to feature at your Thanksgiving dinner? Don’t even mention it to the hosts or if you’re hosting, well, those guests better get in line. Where else are they going to go? Applebee’s? And if guests complain they don’t want to eat something called Cottage Cheese Glory or slurp some Bouillon Sippers, then ask: what do they have against America and our culinary traditions? Are they liberal snowflakes waging War on Thanksgiving? I mean, it’s like you can’t even say Thanksgiving anymore!!!

Fuck Vitamix or those bougie juicers! Osterizer is where it’s at

How dainty!

I want all my dips to have sardines, cottage cheese, and one “very tiny” onion

Glory glory hallelujah!!

Mmmmm…my tummy is rumbling just imagining Seasoned Liver Spread and Herring Surprise

“Salad”

I’ll take a steaming cup of brown please

“Greatest taste appeal”

Yum…look at that spread!

Sure, you’ve got your traditions like pumpkin pie, pecan pie or even sweet potato pie. But why not give your Thanksgiving guests a little shock and awe with some sour cream pie?

There are only two kinds of salads in the world: a gigantic vat of every veggie found in your grocery store and a ring of Jello

Try ordering a cheesy beefy at your local bodega

I like my food described as “unusual”

Elegant

I want my coffee cake to have a blinding sheen

Sure it says spring, but I think you could serve that crescent roll with unidentifiable glop and apparently dried fruit (?) sprinkled on top all year

What am I looking at

Uh oh, I think someone was sick all over dinner

A waterfall of velveeta for a busy lady

Again, what am I looking at?

Nothing like a culinary presentation that resembles a shart

Since Christmas is right around the corner, why not start hoarding gelatin now?

“The world is indeed beautiful”–Nick Cave

A dinner for a special man! Which looks to be a glorified hot pocket

Love lifts us up where we belong

While the beef pastry is cause for celebration, what in the world is the garnish? Tomatoes smeared with mustard?

Move over Big Macs! Make way for just a pot full of meat and buns

Grim. Just onions and broth

I can’t wait to hand people a steaming mug of bouillon broth and soup can water

What a gorgeous color scheme!

The textures

My Italian ancestors are horrified and disappointed

Can anyone identify any of these?

Bisquick should go in EVERYTHING

I like how the cover of this cookbook looks like a crime scene

And apparently real crimes were perpetrated inside!

Finally an answer with what to do with your leftover meat

Fuck it…just toss it all in

Shiny

This is essential sandwich history. Maybe read it over your Thanksgiving dinner table this year like a prayer.

Wait…hearty AND dainty?!!!!

Praise be!

I didn’t know Weegee did food photography

Perfect harmony

How could anyone say no to more cottage cheese?

I couldn’t write better captions than this cookbook

Mmmm…glop!

Awe-inspiring

All meals should be as gay as a spring bonnet, shouldn’t they?

One thought on “From The Filthy Dreams Kitsch-en: Even More Queasy Questionable Vintage Recipes To Trigger Thanksgiving Terror

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s