Buddy on the Colbert Report

Reciting seven simple rules for a life in hiding in Todd Haynes film I’m Not There, Ben Whishaw reveals the fifth, “If ever told to look at yourself, never look.” Well, Mary, we at Filthy Dreams looked and do you know who looked back? Buddy Cole.

Yes, Buddy Cole–that Kids In The Hall queen, played by Scott Thompson, monologuing his way into gay bar oblivion or as he would say, “rapidly aging on TV.”

Buddy made his grand reappearance this week on Stephen Colbert’s The Colbert Report, investigating Russia’s vague anti-gay legislation with a martini in hand, as well as a few practice lines to pass in Sochi such as “Can you point me to the nearest hardware store” and “Women…am I right? Who needs ’em…except for their vaginas.”

After calming our overwhelming excitement with our own martinis, Marion and I came to the realization that Buddy is Filthy Dreams and we are Buddy.  Think about it, kweens. Everything about Buddy just screams Filthy Dreams: the drinking, campy quipping, stories that may or may not be true and his abhorrence of respectability in queer culture.

He’s accomplished everything we’ve ever wanted by opening up his own bar Buddy’s with a tacky tagline that we could only hope to create: “Buddy’s-you’re sitting in it!”

Of course, we always knew our aesthetics were tired, people are sick of our campy jokes and it’s all been done before. Why it’s all part of our charm! But Buddy’s perfection of our nightclubbing trashy mess personas has only strengthened our resolve to spread our ideology of filth.

Why, just take a look at some of his fantastic quotes:

“I believe in moderation…within reason!”

“Well I prefer sodomite. It goes along with my concept that the world’s a big jail.”

“Respectability is for five star hotels, not people.”

“Now I may have been born yesterday, but I still went shopping.”

“You know that feeling you get when you don’t know whether it’s gonna be a shit or a fart but you let’r rip anyways? I hesitated to use that analogy to a heterosexual audience because when you mention something remotely anal, they always rush out to vacuum their car.”

“An angry drag queen is scarier than a minotaur”

Can you even contain yourselves? I know I can’t–I’m about ready to spontaneously combust reading those.

I’m going to memorize all the best of Buddy’s lines and deliver them unexpectedly in bars, dinner parties, gallery openings, business meetings, weddings, funerals, traffic stops, court dates…you know, wherever. I can just imagine the peals of laughter afterwards because if Faye Richmonde is right and “It’s smart to be smutty,” who could resist these lines? (Sure it’s more likely that we’ll be met with blank stares of horror. No matter, Mary!)

We could go on and on about Buddy all day but to save you the agony of reading more of our gushing, it might just be better to waste your snowy day away watching some of our favorite Buddy Cole monologues. So pull up a chair, get yourself a martini or three or five and enjoy our Filthy Dreams filth elder Buddy Cole. And Buddy, there will always be a worn bar stool for you here at Filthy Dreams! Hope you enjoy confetti!